#Slack jawed yokel pt 1 tapped out full#

It’s one of my incisors in the front of my lower jaw, one right in the middle of where it says “incisor” in the diagram below: () Given my history with teeth, it wasn’t a terrible surprise that one of them fell out decades before retirement age. Putting lipstick on a pig doesn’t make it any less of a pig. I even use medicated mouthwash to no avail. I brush them at least twice a day and floss daily. You might be thinking, well, you should take better care of your teeth. Within a year or two of having my brand new teeth, I already had a cavity. When my adult teeth did come in, they weren’t all that great either. The dentist didn’t bother fixing them since my adult teeth would be coming in soon, so I limped along with thirteen cavities for a while. 13 out of 20 of my teeth were total failures. I had thirteen cavities in my baby teeth. If we had a family reunion and you went into a shared bathroom at night, you would see jars of teeth soaking on the counter like some sort of creepy sideshow. My dad is 85 now and he has less than ten real teeth left. With a legacy of crappy teeth already in place, my mom went and married a man with crappy teeth. When my grandmother died, she had two real teeth. Actually, as of yesterday, I have less than a mouthful.

#Slack jawed yokel pt 1 tapped out full#

Perhaps, if the human race doesn’t annihilate itself first, in a few thousand years, we will grow more teeth when the crappy ones we’re given fail, but for now, I’m stuck with a mouth full of crappy teeth. They haven’t evolved to re-create the things we need to survive, like teeth. Our life expectancy keeps getting long and longer, yet our corporeal meatsacks haven’t caught up. Then, I realized it’s because we aren’t built to live this long. Still, it’s been quite some time since I experienced a tooth falling out, and unlike last time, I have no hope that my mouth will magically sprout a replacement.Īnd, I wonder, why can’t it? Why don’t we grow a new set of teeth every five or six years? Our meatsacks are obviously capable of growing a whole new set of teeth, so why don’t they? It’s strange that we’re given one set to last less than a decade, and then expected to live the entire rest of our lives with only one more. In a self-defeating practice, I ended up chewing on one of my own teeth.Įvery single one of us who is old enough to have survived childhood is familiar with the concept of teeth falling out, since our entire set of pearly whites is replaced when we’re kids.

The something odd was that one of my masticators was being masticated by my other masticators. No, dear readers, I didn’t bite into something horrid the establishment was blameless. Yesterday, as I was having lunch at a restaurant, I bit into a sandwich and felt something odd. According to that bit of provably untrue silliness, Methuselah lived some 9.6 to 16% of the total age of the earth.Īnyway, this post is not about the idiocy of creationism nor is it about disputing yet another unpossible claim from the Bible it’s actually about getting old and I’ve gone very far afield already. That’s pretty old, especially when you consider that young earth creationists think the whole works has only existed for 6,000 to 10,000 years. Apparently, he was in the Bible:Īnd all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died. Do you know who Methuselah is? Neither do I it’s something my grandmother used to say. By Middle Ages standards, I’m as old as Methuselah. By today’s standards, I’m barely middle-aged.